This March has challenged by own perception of peace in multiple ways in multiple situations. It has been a month where I have challenged my own goals, challenged my environment, challenged those around me and challenged myself.
Add to my own journey the challenge of peace and safety as so torn apart by a terrorist attack in New Zealand, and March is becoming a rather confrontational month. When I started Zenme, I committed to myself that I would put electronic pen to paper at least once per month, yet I felt called to write today.
In my own world I am finding peace in what feels like 30 second bursts. My day to day life is chaotic, where often I am running from meeting to meeting, discussion to discussion multiple times throughout the day. Some days it literally feels that taking 30 seconds of deep breaths is all the solaice I can muster. Outside of work, I am in the middle of moving house.
Moving house in the middle of a chaotic work week is not ideal. Having to move twice (due to split timing between old and new house) is even less ideal. Doing this, and then hurting my back… and well you have a bit of a recipe for emotional disaster.
Peace has come and gone is short bursts this month. I have found myself repeating the same conversation across many different people, I have found communication to be a real challenge. I have found finding peace almost elusive.
It has almost been somewhat like a dream. Being so busy that taking in new information is difficult, attempting to align my own thoughts, so I can work out my next steps has created more work, as I continued to process different things as they arise. Then, on Friday the 15th of March I was shocked back awake into the reality of the world as it is now, due to a mass murder in Christchurch New Zealand.
I, like many others, have been struggling to find rhyme or reason to the horrific events. I have been tempted to both rant, rave and condemn, while having a strong desire not to add any oxygen to the chaos caused by an extremist. Within my own mind, I have been conflicted, and I have also been somewhat removed from it.
Now, when this act took place in the victims most peaceful environment, where do we find out peace? If our place of solace is no longer safe, where do we find our peace?
Sometimes, when events like this happen I am speechless. Not by the level of hate it takes for events such as this to take place, but by the bravery, the grace, and the will power of the victims and their direct families. I am astounded that in moments of hate, love shines brighter, communities pull together, and reconnection across the masses occurs. I am heartened by the way people pull together in order to provide temporary solace in amongst the chaos, so that those affected may feel safe once more.
In my eyes, in these moments, I am reminded that peace comes from within. Even when the physical places of peace are destroyed, peace can radiate from within, peace comes from ones soul, where in the moment of the hurt, the pain and the hatred, we know that our own love, our own journey, our truth can be a beacon to others. A reminder of everyones innate being, and that together, shared love, shared compassion, shared peace will bring more growth to the world than hatred ever will.
Because when we find peace within, when we share peace with each other, when we share our truth, our stories, our lives with one another, hatred has nowhere to hide.
That is not to say it will not exist, but rather, in the moments after hatred rains upon us all, we will provide shelter for one another, to find that moment of solace. In that solace we can find our truth, and our truth will continue to light our way, even in the dark.
To all the families, individuals, first responders and general communities who have been impacted by any crime of hatred, regardless of its source, allow your own strength to nourish you, provide for you, and ease you. May you find your peace, from within, the greatest source of inspiration.